“How are you?”
I am fine! When deep in our heart we know are not fine.
This short question has got a lot of us living in denial of how we are. We have become good and the best liars to ourselves pretending to be okay when all is not well. When asked this question we are quick to want to shove it off with a response that at times isn’t how we are feeling. Sometimes we do it just to not be a burden to anyone and sometimes we do it so save the little self-esteem that we have.
Also, there are times when we also take advantage of this question to exploit a fellow brother/sister and this is the kind of world we’ve found ourselves. It’s getting to a point where no one wants to know how are you doing because at times they just may not have the response or supposed solution to how you are feeling that needs some solace and love.
The ugly truth, however, is that as much as we know that we are lying to ourselves, we also anticipate that those around us would lie too. As we are living in a state of fear that the entire world will come crumbling down on us if we are just a little bit more honest with one another about all the time. The lies that we keep telling each other daily are what has either made or marred us in ways unimaginable and we keeping doing it even till our dying days.
We have some bottled-up hurt, regrets, past wrong that we carry about like an overloaded backpack every day of our lives not knowing who exactly to share it with when we are asked: “How are you?.” When if only and only if we could just be bold and a little bit more truthful to those around us, we can get to know where exactly it’s been hurting the most in their lives for so long with no one share. That you will be that trusted and non-judgmental friend, brother, sister, mother or father that will love them irrespective – that will love them irrespective.
And all these bottled-up issues are the main triggers for depression, suicide, seclusion, silent treatment, the self-denial of love amongst our loved ones. Because there was nobody there to listen and know exactly how are you?
The world would be a lot happier if we could all just be more intentional about our empathic nature to the fellowman. Even wars may not even erupt if we understand how the neighboring country is faring really. We need to be a little bit more patient with each other and not be swamped with life’s hassles and lose touch of knowing how those around us are doing. We need all stop being liars to ourselves and let’s be bold to embrace the unfiltered truth of one another – just take me as I am, having come clean and open to you. That you will love me still irrespective of my baggage, my shit and all no matter how poignant it may look or seem, you will love me irrespective.
The father awaited the prodigal son irrespective of his extravagance life and unclear ambition to stand on his own when he was only fit to crawl. The father didn’t wait for him to walk up to him and go down on his knees to beg for forgiveness as he had intended and beg to be taken back in as a slave. The father ran towards him, embraced him, kissed him, welcomed him, and demanded a change of his filthy rags. Restore his glory on him as his son and above all declared a great feast on the return of his lost son.
Can we just be this kind of father as God is to us, irrespective of our mess; He’s always there to bless us.